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Everything, from your attempt to scoop it up to eat it, would be bad.

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oBV7r TIL that Christopher Booker shows that basically all stories in fiction can be generalized into seven basic plot types. He worked on his book "the Seven Basic Plots" for 34 years before releasing it.
7rjex TIL Wal-Mart lost $100m on life insurance policies it secretly bought for its employees and never intended to pay to their families
BrlMb TIL that each verse of Carly Simon's You're So Vain was about a different man, and she's kept their names secret, except the 2nd verse, which she revealed is about Warren Beatty. Candidates range from Cat Stevens to David Bowie, and Simon herself ruled out Mick Jagger and her ex-husband James Taylor
xmkg TIL variations in sexual orientation (homosexuality, bisexuality, etc) are found not just in humans, but in over 1000 species, most of which predate the existence of modern humans. The biological nature and origins of these variations are not understood, and are a subject of ongoing research.
P1kPJ TIL that the Austin Powers theme song was written by Quincy Jones. "Soul Bossa Nova" was written in 20 minutes.