PASADENA, Calif. — We don't know exactly where Drew Carey will be on Sunday, Sept. 22, but we know where he won't be — at the 54th Annual Emmy Awards.
No, he's not nominated. Never has been. But that's in no small part because you have to submit your own name to be considered for nomination, and Carey never has. To say that he hates the whole thing would be an understatement.
"Oh, I don't give a (expletive)," Carey said. "I'm so glad that millionaires can line up to get a trinket for their mantel. What a great idea."
It's not just the Emmys that Carey dislikes, it's all awards shows.
"I have two People's Choice Awards. I have a CableAce Award, and they're all in a box in my garage," he said. "I don't even display them. It's like idolatry to me. I stay away from it."
"The reward is sitting down and watching a show and enjoying it," said "Drew Carey Show" executive producer Bruce Helford, with Carey nodding in agreement.
"I wish everybody would just admit that all these awards shows are nothing more than publicity stunts, and they're not really a recognition," said Carey, who added that the Emmys are for "needy people."
"You know, 'You want a medal or a chest to pin it on?' Remember that phrase from when you were a kid?" he asked. "That's what that always reminds me of every year. Like, oh, people are so needy. Not only do they need applause and a giant paycheck, but they also need a thing to prove to themselves that they are worthy and good. It's like, holy (crap), go see a psychiatrist."
And he sees no circumstances under which he'd change his mind about the Emmys.
"There's nothing that would make an award more meaningful to me. I think the whole idea of an award show is bad," Carey said. "Plumbers don't say, 'Hey, you're a good plumber — here's your award.' Nobody else does that. 'Here's your best-accounting award.' It's only show-biz people, and it's only for publicity.
"It's a chance to push whatever project or say, 'Hey, I'm famous.' And it's a publicist's dream. . . . It's always a way of saying, 'Hey, look at me! Look at this!'"
Carey admits that show business thrives on publicity, he just sees the Emmys as a dishonest way to achieve it.
"I like publicity, I'm here in front of you right now," he said to a room full of TV critics at the Television Critics Association meeting here in Pasadena. "I'm on TV, but I'll only whore myself so much and it's like — draw the line. Get away from it."
NOMINATING THE OLYMPICS: Well, Drew Carey certainly wouldn't be impressed, but the opening ceremonies of the Salt Lake Winter Olympics apparently impressed members of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, who nominated NBC's telecast for eight prime-time Emmy awards.
The big category the ceremonies find themselves in is outstanding variety, music or comedy special, where they find themselves competing with the Academy Awards, "America: A Tribute to Heroes," "Carol Burnett: Show Stoppers," "Cirque du Soleil's Alegria" and "Concert for New York City." (A list that points up how silly the nominating process can be.)
The opening ceremonies' other nominations, all in sub-categories of variety or music program, are for art direction, choreography, costumes, directing, lighting direction, music direction and sound mixing. Those seven Emmys will be among 59 presented at the "creative arts" awards ceremonies on Saturday, Sept. 14, which will be seen live on cable channel E!
The outstanding variety, music or comedy special Emmy will be awarded during NBC's coverage of the Prime-Time Emmy Awards on Sunday, Sept. 22.
E-MAIL: pierce@desnews.com